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Melody Ross

Out of the Darkness and Into the Light

I took this picture right after Heather collected our first donation.
It was a beautiful moment.

 This is my friend Heather. We met in second grade. She has been a force of grace, comfort, stability, and love in my life ever since. Several years ago she invited me to her house for a Silpada jewelry party. She said the proceeds of her sales were going to The A21 Campaign, an organization she had heard about at her church. She told me that the campaign's mission was to help stop human trafficking. You know, human trafficking? It is one of those problems that belongs to OTHER people.

Since I love sparkly things and I love Heather, and it sounded like a good cause, I attended her party. I bought jewelry. She donated the proceeds of the party. She called us abolitionists.

Not long after that I happened to turn on the TV in the middle of a show about human trafficking. The survivor telling her story looked like any other woman I saw every day in the carpool lane at my child's school. Hmmm...

About a year ago, another woman I love and admire started talking about her work with the Full Circle Exchange. She is co-founder of the Brave Girls Club and someone I feel blessed to call my friend, Melody Ross. I took note. It didn’t seem like a coincidence that human trafficking kept showing up in front of me. I was being asked to do something about it. 

Melody wrote about partnering up with the Full Circle Exchange for a Truth Card Project on her blog. Recipients of the truth cards would be victims of human trafficking. I made truth cards and I sent them to the Brave Girls. Melody went to Manila, Philippines to work with a special group of victims of human trafficking and took the truth cards with her. She handed them out to the girls she worked with and girls on the street. They are girls. Very young girls. She wrote about it here. I saw Melody in March and she shared some of her story - some of what she witnessed in Manila.

As I allowed myself to be broken open by the stories of these girls and the people who perpetuate their pain and suffering, I began to see myself in their stories...

Last Thursday I moved a little further beyond making donations and truth cards. Heather and I had a benefit for the Manasseh Project in west Michigan. The Manasseh Project works to end sexual exploitation of young men and women in Michigan. Heather has envisioned us doing something like this for a while now and we finally pulled it off. We invited some of our friends (local artists and business women) to sell their goods and donate some of their proceeds to Manasseh. We pulled it together pretty quickly. It was a beautiful event - from the planning where we recruited our friend Sherry to help us - to the end of the night when Sherry's daughter handed me a box of money she had collected. She and her brother made bracelets on their Rainbow Loom and sold them at the benefit. 

Sherry and her daughter Amelia

We made truth cards for the girls at Manasseh. They need to know they have support, but they need bras and underwear the most. It's cold in Michigan in the winter. They will need coats too.

This is Alexa and the beautiful truth card she made - it gives me chills
just thinking about how excited she was when she made it,
and the love that will come through to the girl who receives it.
There were rooms full of women. There were friends with friends, sisters with sisters, and moms with daughters. There were moms with sons too. And a couple wives with husbands.

Pam and Jordan, inspiring mother and daughter, shopping
Missy and Shelli, two sweet sister

I felt a strong sense of community, even though not everyone knew each other. It felt like we were part of something bigger than ourselves, perhaps bigger than we could even imagine. A movement maybe...

I am so grateful for everyone who participated by making beautiful things, selling beautiful things, donating beautiful things, and shopping. Even the people who couldn’t make it sent sweet notes and I could feel them all with us in spirit. People are kind. People want to take care of each other. All we really want is to love and be loved. It is very simple. My heart feels so full when I think about the beauty that shone through the night.

On Friday, the morning after the benefit, it occurred to me that it takes a certain kind of bravery to show up for an event like ours. Human trafficking isn't something anyone wants to think about. It scares people. The whole operation is absolutely inconceivable. Many of us would prefer to believe that this is not our issue or our problem to solve, but theirs. Not a lot of people want to talk about it and so it takes courage to step out into the light and do anything to take a stand against it.

Friday morning Heather posted on our event page on Facebook. She said, "...Sometimes it is tough to be really honest about what human trafficking looks like. It has so often been relegated to 'those type of people'. Prostitutes or strip club girls - whatever. But the reality is much darker than that. And does not cover the whole issue anyhow. No little girl grows up dreaming of having her body used so that someone else can make money. No little girl wakes up one day and hopes that she will be forced to have sex with men or boys she does not know. No woman comes to the US looking to make money for their family back home and hoping that to do it she will have to dance naked and service multiple men in one night. It does not matter what circumstance a girl comes out of - this just was never planted in her heart. Plain and simple. And once a girl is trapped in that - someone must save her. Period. I think that is what we are doing. We, as a group of women who have hearts for those without voices. We, as a community that knows the least among us can be the greatest. We, as a bunch of sisters really - who deep down realize that a human being is the greatest thing we can invest in.”

It is hardly ever easy to face the truth. While I worry about what other people think when they hear about human trafficking - about what they think of the victims and whether or not they believe this is an issue that impacts them - I worry most about what the girls think about themselves. I worry that they blame themselves. I worry that they hate themselves. I worry that they will never forgive themselves. I worry that they will always believe the lies they are told - the lies that might forever keep them enslaved even if they are fortunate enough to be in the ONE PERCENT of victims freed from slavery. 

I worry because in some small way I can see myself in these girls. I was raped the summer after I graduated from high school. It took years for me to even be able to call it what it was. It took many more years to let go of the shame I carried with me since the night it happened. We're talking 20 years. 

For 20 years I believed the lies I had heard about the kinds of girls who get raped. I blamed myself for what happened to me and I was so ashamed of myself for allowing it to happen. 

It took years of opening to little bits of truth I learned as a volunteer for a shelter for victims of domestic violence - in receiving my own training and in training others, it took hearing other women's stories, and slowly sharing mine in tiny pieces and sometimes even in code, it took blurting it out, and holding it in. It took my dad dying and me realizing that life is too short to live under a cloak of shame. It took therapy and life coaching and finally it took me saying to myself: "That was a bad thing that happened to you, Anna. You didn't deserve it. It wasn't your fault." It took repeating that statement. Again and again. And then, finally it took me believing it - that a bad thing happened to me and it wasn't my fault. That I didn't deserve it.

In just about every single circle of women I find myself in, at some point, one of us shares that she was abused, molested, raped... Sometimes it is a secret she has been holding for years. Sometimes even though it has been years since it happened, she hasn't even begun to heal. Sometimes it is a story she shares because she knows there is someone out there struggling with the awful feelings she felt and she wants that person to know that they are not alone.

Not discussing things doesn't stop them from happening. 

In fact, sharing our difficult stories – bringing them out of the darkness and into the light – disempowers the stories and liberates us and makes space for us to help others do the same.

The truth is not that complicated. No matter what you want to believe about victims of human trafficking, or even rape or abuse or molestation - what is happening to the victims of these nightmares is not their fault. No matter how badly you don't want to hear about human trafficking or talk about it or deal with it, it is STILL HAPPENING. 

It happens everywhere. All over the United States. There are sex slaves in the United States of America -- the land of the FREE and the brave. It happens all over the world. 

The victims are just like us - just like our children, our nieces and nephews, and our neighbors. They are not OTHER PEOPLE. They are us. They are you and me. They are our sisters and brothers. 

They need us. They need to know they are not alone. They need their sisters and brothers to show up for them, to speak up for them, to stand up for them, and eventually, to free them.

Join us in taking a stand against this horror. Heather and I are continuing our fundraising efforts for the next few days. You can donate to the Manasseh Project online using this link: Home for the Holidays

Thank you.

Give-Away for Soul Comfort! WOOHooooooo!

Jewel sings a song called Life Uncommon. The Brave Girls Club introduced me to it. It is a beautiful song. When I hear it, my heart stills. Maybe you could listen to it, if you've never heard it. Get it started and come back to me.

I don't want to spoil anything for you, in case you ever attend Brave Girl Camp (and I reallllllly hope you will), and honestly even if I told you every single detail of every bitty morsel of my camp experience, it would still blow you away (I attended in July of 2012). I must tell you this though... to sit in a circle of women whose paths, while so very different, intersected at Brave River Ranch in Idaho - women who started as complete strangers, but who over the course of minutes together became lifelong friends, and listen to Brave Girls Club co-founder Kathy Wilkins sing Life Uncommon as she plays the guitar... it is like living in heaven on earth. Kathy has the voice of an angel. It is an experience I will never forget.

Jewel sings "...We are tired, we are weary, but we aren't worn out...lend your voices only to sounds of freedom. No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from. Fill your lives with love and bravery and we shall lead a life uncommon."

That is what Brave Girls Club is all about - filling our lives with love and bravery and giving us tools to lead magical, melodious, harmonious lives. When I think about Brave Girls Club and the ways in which their offerings have enriched my life, the shifts I have experienced since my first Brave Girl online class at the start of 2012 seem far from common. I had no idea that online classes that I could take from the comfort of my own home whenever it was convenient for me even existed and now, roughly a year and a half later, I am in the very beginning stages of figuring out how to offer an online class of my own.

What if something has simple and fun as an online class could change your life?

Somewhere I read or heard Brave Girls Club co-founder and Kathy's sister Melody Ross say that she believes in sharing things that can help people. I'm not gonna lie. I adore Melody. She inspires me. She is kind and compassionate, creative and incredibly talented, and she and Kathy and every sweet soul affiliated with Brave Girls Club embody LOVE. And, they are so real. Their love is soooo real.

So anyway, the whole sharing thing is what inspired me to jump on this blog-fest train. I also believe that goodness is meant to be shared. Anyone who has spent any amount of time with me (even seconds. Even complete strangers. Seriously.) is likely to have heard me say, "Have you heard of Brave Girls Club?" I am a passionate sharer of all things Brave Girls Club.

Of course I want to share an opportunity TO WIN A SPOT IN THEIR NEW ONLINE CLASS: SOUL COMFORT! You can read all about it here.

In short, this is an invitation to...

To the tired, the exhausted, the overstretched…

Life can be simple.

What if we celebrated the brave act of….taking a break?
What if simplicity, comfort, and quiet were the goal?
What if there really was a way to quiet the chatter in our minds and let us
recharge our body & soul?
And what if it was fun, too?

Introducing a new eCourse . . .

Soul Comfort 

Really? Yes, really. Whatever Brave Girls Club offers, they deliver that, and always so much more. 

You can count on this class to be . . .

  • enlightening, enjoyable, fun, & simple
  • customizable with many choices to fit your exact style
  • interactive, encouraging, and supportive with a private community on Facebook 
  • and weekly live chats
  • a beautiful experience that will help you relax, simplify, and enjoy your life 
  • a place to learn simple new ways to journal, 
  • plus the  ”Brave Girl” way to use stitching and such 
  • to create both beautiful things you’ll love AND peaceful relaxing moments
  • a place to learn exactly what nourishes YOUR body and soul
  • how to fit comforting rituals into your day
  • something that you can finish without feeling overwhelmed
  • produced with the level of caring and attention to detail that Brave Girls Club is known for
I have a really good feeling about this because I recently assembled my own little toolbox that I use to make pages in my Blessings Journal each day (most days...). I have certainly seen the benefits of taking a little time to create something each day. I feel grounded, more centered, and whole. And since my focus is on gratitude, I feel grateful - grateFULL if you will.

a page from my Blessings Journal

I was so excited when I saw that this class was being offered. When I signed up I requested access to the Facebook group for students and the love and support being shared there is already so heartwarming. Class hasn't even started!


Why do you think women have such a hard time taking care of themselves in the ways they so lovingly care for others?

Post your answer in the Comments box at the bottom of this page to enter my drawing for a spot in Soul Comfort. It's that simple! I will randomly draw a name on Saturday, September 21. I will pass along the winner's name to Brave Girls Club and YOU will be ready for some soul comfort like you never imagined. I can't wait to see you in class! xoxo

p.s. click here to see a list of other blogs participating in this give-away - you can enter all of them!